Motivation to carry on.. or lack thereof.

Last week, i felt one of the biggest lows of my life… emotional.. internally… 

I just couldn’t do anything to motivate and uplift myself. I felt like I was in an eternal rut and that life wasn’t going anywhere. Everything frustrated me and annoyed me in a whole new level. I felt like I was alone in this battle… solitude is the worse feeling ever. I was very close to giving up Law school and my dream. A number of thoughts were floating in my head – I gave up so much to be here (my car, my jobs, my family and my friends), it was my biggest dream to come to the UK to study and yet I don’t feel.. HAPPY. I never despised this place so much and I was ready to go home… back to Vancouver.


But I thought to myself.. so what if I went back to Vancouver? Nothing would be the same as I left it 5 months ago and I would be going home like a loser.. impulsively…a loser that gave up after 1/4 through law school. All the money I spent on tuition would have gone down the drain and I have no real excuse for giving up besides running away from hardship due to a lack of confidence, motivation, etc. I’ll be left with nothing but a life full of regrets. Being here has been the hardest thing ever. I miss everything back at home but you know what.. time doesn’t stop for you. When I go back, everything will be different and not where I left it. Heck, I don’t even have a room that belongs to me since my mother decided to demolish it shortly after I left.

Pain is nothing than giving up. Two years of hardship is better than a lifetime of regret. 

Keep your eyes on the prize because who said life was going to be easy? IT’S NOT! Nothing ever is. 


And with that in mind, I got myself out of my rut and was born again. =P Gotta keep fighting! 

Everyday is life changing to me because everything is so uncertain. I think I have a love/hate relationship with this place. I’m learning so much in school and about life but I’m also missing out with everything back at home. But, that’s the way it is.. such is life.


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