I’m so Beautiful

I wish.

I’ve been looking at old pictures of myself and i SWEAR to God, I looked so much more beautiful in Vancouver. I just feel like no matter how nice I dress, how much make up I put on, how cute pretentious pretty innocent adorable I try to pose in pictures, I still look like crap. It’s a constant struggle and it kind of brings my self esteem down. I don’t want to sound pretentious or anything but I don’t think I’m an ugly girl. In fact, I think I’m pretty above average decent for a girl in her 20’s. I’m convinced that the UK has unfortunately turned me into an ugly duckling – quite depressing if you ask me.


Here’s a recent selfie of myself. I don’t think I look at all cute. And here’s why:

THE HAIR. I mean, every since I came here, I’ve lost the luxury to straighten my hair – which is probably the biggest reason why my hair always looks like crap – and I don’t think my hair has fully gotten used to the water here. As Jas says, it’s “vacation water” hair. My hair feels like there’s a film on it and it feels greasy. And girl, that greasy flimsy feeling from the dirt and debris is sOoooOoo disgusting.

AND omg my MAKEUP. I don’t put a lot of make up on but I feel like my face is sOooOooo greasy all the time. My makeup literally melts off my face by the end of the day. I’m sure it’s not the products I use because they’re the same ones I use in Vancouver. My eyeliners always melting down my cheek and my face feels like a grease ball. It’s like nasty.

Then there’s the smell. I absolutely regret not bringing any of my frags to the UK. I’ve been using this body spray from Bath and Body Works and it just doesn’t smell like me. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it. First of all, it’s a body mist and the smell doesn’t last really long. Second of all, that body mist doesn’t smell like anything I’d normally wear. I really miss my Chloe and Ed Hardy frags. It’s ridiculous. I feel like I’m having perfume withdrawals. And I swear, I’m going to cave in and buy some frags soon.

The haircut. I used to think my bob cut made me aged 10 years – stlll agree. But I was looking through the iPhoto pictures of myself with short hair like 2-3 years ago and honestly, I look pretty. Effortlessly pretty.


This is like my greased up, after work face too. UGH. WTF!

There’s no way this is happening!

And then there’s the face. I feel like my face is so swollen or something. I also feel bloated. My face is so swollen and I don’t know how. I massage it everyday to make sure my blood flows and all.

AND the DIET. I think I really should stop eating chips and chocolates on the daily. My diet has become terrible since I got here.

With a few diet changes and the practice of incessant and relentless narcism, I’m confident that I will eventually become HOT again in the  UK, just like my Vancouver-self. I HOPE.

End rant.


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