Little bit of an update

Sorry I’ve been slightly MIA!

Life got busy even though not much is happening. I suppose I’m just kind of lazy… Oops!

It’s revision season right now so I’ll have plenty of time to revise and blog.

Over the past few months I’ve developed…
– an obsession with itsjudytime and itsjudyslife on YouTube. I love watching their daily vlogs, its kind of becoming the highlight of my day! The family is just so so cute and the babies are adorable. The fact that they live in Seattle allows me to see bits and bobs of the area makes me reminisce my spontaneous day trips to the States when I’m at home!

– some sort of insomnia where I have broken sleep and can wake up anytime from 3-5am. Most of the time I can go back to sleep while sometimes I can’t (aka right now). I don’t really know what the cause of it.. Perhaps stress but I don’t think I’ve been THAT stressed out… I recall having this problem back in Vancouver but it has become pretty chronic for the past few months. I’m talking like waking up around that time every single night.

– problems with my menstrual cycle – I guess this ties in with the stress part. I’ve been having abnormal and spotty periods ever since January. I even missed my period one month. Maybe the uncertainty in life is getting to me… Not that you all need to know that but if anyone has any good ideas in destressing, please let me know!

– I’m getting more and more used to alone time and living the slug life of watching TV, studying and eating. Its kind of sad… But no longer am I depressed over friends not talking to me. I’ve come to realize that those who take the time to speak to me regularly are amazing and I really cherish that. I’ve also realize people are busy with their own lives so its understandable that they do not speak to me. After all nobody is obligated to speak to me on a daily basis.. Right?

– realized that I’m kind of picky at making friends. Given that I live in a brown town and I’m Chinese, I think its understandable that Im not always interested in making friends with other brown people. Also its inevitable that similar races mingle with each other. I’ve also come to realize that I don’t want to waste time on people that simply aren’t worth my time. I can’t say I’ve made any ‘lifetime’ friends here yet but whatever I’m kind of okay with how things are. I’ve got to say that I’m kind of at a mixed category here. I’m Chinese and I’m Canadian and I’m kind of whitewashed so anyone that aren’t similar to me makes it kind of hard for me to mingle with. Maybe I’m just antisocial…which can be due to the fact that im an only child…. Who knows. :S

– I’m doing the #100happydays challenge on instagram. Its pretty challenging for me especially when I’m not the funnest and coolest person in the word and frankly, not much goes on in my life.

– can you believe there’s only 64 days til home time? I’m so excited!!! I can’t believe I’ve been here for like 7 months now.

I’ll definitely try to blog more. Its a good source of outlet and perhaps I can think of a way to make it fun for me and my nonexistent readers! 😛

Gallery: iO Tillett Wright examines the 50+ shades of gay

TED Blog

Venus - New York. Venus is one of my favorite characters in the "grey" movement. She doesn't confine herself within any labeled sexuality, but she is loud and proud of everything that she is. Venus is a well known DJ and party promoter, and she's made a name for herself within the hip hop world, which she is helping evolve into a more accepting place. Venus – New York. Venus is one of my favorite characters in the “grey” movement. She doesn’t confine herself within any labeled sexuality, but she is loud and proud of everything that she is. Venus is a well known DJ and party promoter, and she’s made a name for herself within the hip hop world, which she is helping evolve into a more accepting place.

iO Tillett Wright remembers the moment she decided to start living as a boy — age 6 when the kids at school barked at her that girls weren’t allowed to play basketball. As a teenager and adult, Tillett Wright went on to fall in love with a woman, and then to fall in love with a man.

[ted_talkteaser id=1658]

As she reveals in today’s bold talk, while marriage was far from her mind in 2008 when California’s Proposition 8 sparked a national debate over…

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6 studies that offer fascinating conclusions about human sexuality

TED Blog

At TED2013, Christopher Ryan offered a surprising view of modern relationships. Photo: James Duncan Davidson At TED2013, Christopher Ryan explains the evidence that, before the dawn of agriculture, humans had overlapping sexual relationships. Photo: James Duncan Davidson

In today’s talk, Christopher Ryan, the co-author of Sex at Dawnwith Cacilda Jethá, takes a deeper look at the standard narrative of human sexual evolution we’ve long upheld: men provide women with goods and services in exchange for women’s sexual fidelity. According to this model, Ryan points out, the war between the sexes is built into our DNA.

[ted_talkteaser id=1931]But based on their research, Ryan and Jethá have quite a few bones to pick with this narrative. Ryan explains that our sexual patterns are an outgrowth of agricultural models—which accounts for only about five percent of human history. For the other 95 percent, human sexuality was “a way of establishing and maintaining the complex flexible social systems, networks, that our ancestors were very good at.” In hunter-gatherer…

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Motivation to carry on.. or lack thereof.

Last week, i felt one of the biggest lows of my life… emotional.. internally… 

I just couldn’t do anything to motivate and uplift myself. I felt like I was in an eternal rut and that life wasn’t going anywhere. Everything frustrated me and annoyed me in a whole new level. I felt like I was alone in this battle… solitude is the worse feeling ever. I was very close to giving up Law school and my dream. A number of thoughts were floating in my head – I gave up so much to be here (my car, my jobs, my family and my friends), it was my biggest dream to come to the UK to study and yet I don’t feel.. HAPPY. I never despised this place so much and I was ready to go home… back to Vancouver.


But I thought to myself.. so what if I went back to Vancouver? Nothing would be the same as I left it 5 months ago and I would be going home like a loser.. impulsively…a loser that gave up after 1/4 through law school. All the money I spent on tuition would have gone down the drain and I have no real excuse for giving up besides running away from hardship due to a lack of confidence, motivation, etc. I’ll be left with nothing but a life full of regrets. Being here has been the hardest thing ever. I miss everything back at home but you know what.. time doesn’t stop for you. When I go back, everything will be different and not where I left it. Heck, I don’t even have a room that belongs to me since my mother decided to demolish it shortly after I left.

Pain is nothing than giving up. Two years of hardship is better than a lifetime of regret. 

Keep your eyes on the prize because who said life was going to be easy? IT’S NOT! Nothing ever is. 


And with that in mind, I got myself out of my rut and was born again. =P Gotta keep fighting! 

Everyday is life changing to me because everything is so uncertain. I think I have a love/hate relationship with this place. I’m learning so much in school and about life but I’m also missing out with everything back at home. But, that’s the way it is.. such is life.


Hey. 129 til its home time.


I honestly can’t wait. I sisny think I’d ever get this homesick but I am. Its not like I’m homesick homesick, I just miss my old life. My Vancouver life. But whatever…. Still another 129 days to go. 


I um… Don’t know how to explain it but sometimes I feel like I’m in a constant battle with my internal self – whether coming here was the right decision. I know I know .. Keep your eyes on the prize. I just can’t help but second guess myself sometimes you know. I don’t feel like I’ve really made any friends here. I always feel alone and its kind of depressing. I never really feel “happy”. 

And honestly, I feel like the hardest part of law school and studying abroad is the constant internal battle of self worth and uncertainty of the future. 

I don’t really have anyone to talk to and I don’t want to talk to the roommate about it. Friends back home have their own lives and are too busy to console a peasant like me. The time difference sucks balls and I feel.. Alone. 


Maybe I should just stop talking n thinking bout it…. And to top it off, the insomnia.

Being Average Joe

This has been an ongoing thought that has been surrounding me my entire life and it wasn’t until I read the blog posts and watched the YouTube video of Mrdizzybubbles that I was able to put this topic into words. Feel free to check out her video on this if you are interested! It is not only wise but also honest – definitely some worthy food for thought after watching it!

After watching the video I find that I relate to her in many aspects – I was never the best or the worst in anything. I always got average grades in school and ended off university with an average GPA. I never got into playing instruments or dancing. I have no beliefs of spirituality although I do believe that someone almighty out there created the world – a true agnostic, although my mother is currently in the midst of convincing me to become Christian. I was a “goody goody” in high school as my parents wanted me to be; I never dated, never did drugs or drank alcohol; heck, I didn’t even drink coffee – a “drug” as some people believe. I was in a few clubs in high school like Student Council and Choir. I have some friends but not too many. I find friends to be quality over quantity. I was never popular and still not. In university, I opened up a little more and started rebelling, but just enough to explore the possibilities of the world. I wandered on the mobius strip as I believe love is without boundaries and it is the person that matters, not the gender.

Fast forward to finishing up university, I felt lost in what the future would be. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do more school, or just work for a few years to gain more work and life experiences. I had trouble deciding what my interests were and what profession I want to settle in because I’m so AVERAGE. I’m interested in everything and know bits and bobs of all areas of expertise. Everything seemed like a possibility to me and because of my indecisive mindset, I felt even more lost.  All I knew was that I didn’t want to waste my time, so I settled for law school in the most unconventional way. I didn’t bother studying for the LSAT because I knew I would never get into a Canadian law school so I opted for overseas.

Now that I’m in the UK, I’m constantly questioning myself, whether law school was really a good choice. I don’t have a strong passion for school but unfortunately, society have such strong views on education and being “educated”. Sometimes I ask myself, what am I doing here? I’m spending so much money, being away from home and I don’t feel like I’m improving myself, even though I am.

I’m doing average in law school. Last night my father asked me if I think I’ll be able to pass law school this year and I told him of course, why do you ask? He replied “because you’re not as smart as you think you are.” The normal reaction would be infuriated but I thought to myself, he’s kind of true. I am just an average person, living an average life that received average grades my entire life. Is being average enough? But when you think about it, being “on top” of the pack induces a conceited nature and being “at the bottom” results in self confidence issues. It’s so hard to redefine oneself yet society is based upon hierarchies and ranking system. Like “oh, if you’re not rich, don’t go to law school.” “If you’re not a genius, don’t go to law school” “If you’re Chinese, you must be smart!”

Life is about discovering all aspects of life and striving for change and achieving goals. But how can one strive and achieve when they are “just average”? Why are we bound by social stratification in this society? If we’re not, we could challenge Marxian’s class theories which society has abide to for centuries. Is power, prestige and property really that important to us? Can an Average Joe achieve these three premises of stratification? Are Average Joes just waiting for a wake up call to motivate them to strive to be on top?

Motivational Tunes

It’s no news that music helps you study better. Studies have shown that listening to music while you study not only helps you concentrate and keep your mind alert, it also makes you more intelligent. Clinical psychologists have found that studying with music makes your pupils perform well academically. Music containing 60-70 beats a minute are beneficial to stimulate learning and enhance concentration.  This is usually found in classical music.

‘The melody and tone range in classical music, like Beethoven’s Fur Elise, helped students to study for longer and retain more information,’ she says. ‘Music in this range induces a state of relaxation where the mind is calm but alert, the imagination is stimulated and concentration is heightened (similar to a meditative state). And this is thought to be the best for learning.’

For students studying in Humanities, Social Sciences, Science and Language, it has been found in studies that listening to music with 50-80 beats a minute to help with enhancing concentration. Researchers suggest that students in those concentrations should listen to songs by Miley Cyrus and Justin Timberlake. 

 ‘The left side of the brain is used to process factual information and solve problems, which are key skills in these topics,’ she says. ‘Listening to music with 50-80 beats per minute such as We Can’t Stop by Miley Cyrus and Mirrors by Justin Timberlake has a calming effect on the mind that is conducive to logical thought, allowing the brain to learn and remember new facts.’

The right side of the brain is used to process original, creative thoughts, so Gray suggests English, Drama or Art students listen to emotive rock and pop music. ‘Songs like Katy Perry’s Firework and I Can’t Get No (Satisfaction) by The Rolling Stones produce a heightened state of excitement that is likely to enhance creative performance,’ she says.

I always thought it was BS when people said listening to classical music helps on study and I can’t say I didn’t try this method in the past. For some reason, I found classical music to be extremely distracting. Not only did it fail to help me concentrate, I found myself getting annoyed of the type of music I was listening to. I did not appreciate classical music at all and in fact, started to question what was so great about it. Instead, I opted for Jazz music and I especially adore songs with a mix of piano and the alto saxophone. There’s just something mesmerized about the sounds that comes out of a saxophone.

Recently, I found a good mix of Deep Jazz and loungey type of music that puts me in my best studying mode ever. Not only do I feel concentrated longer, I am also extremely efficient when listening to the mix. So I thought I’d share some of my favourite jazzy, studying mixes that I’ve discovered.

This mix is by far my most favourite. It’s pretty much a mix of everything that I usually listen to. It’s got a jazzy house vibe to it and I find it perfect to have it in the background while I’m doing my readings or writing a paper. Heck, it’s on repeat all day everyday! I definite go-to when I’m nerding up!

Another perfect mix for note taking and reading.

This one’s absolutely perfect for everything work and school related.

Let me know what you feel. And if anyone has any good mixes of jazz that they find perfect for studying, feel free to comment below.